OK – here’s a post that requires your open mind, since it tackles such a large topic. That said, it’s the billion-dollar question on the codydramol minds of millions of people with Adult ADHD. Roughly half have a co-existing disorder like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or something else, so this isn’t a “one size fits all” answer. It has the keys to your success, however.
First: Get clear on your patterns and your condition(s) as best as you can.
Second: Get clean. If you’re abusing substances, take a serious look at yourself. Is substance use hurting your life progress? Get real honest with yourself.
Third: Get some form of therapy in your life. Medications are great for some, but therapy is huge for everyone. Huge….
Fourth: Work on accepting your diagnosis and challenges. You aren’t actually “broken!” You may need extra help & support, but you can still live a full life. I’m proof of that.
Fifth: STOP trying to be perfect and start letting go of shame! This one takes serious work.
Sixth: Rinse, repeat on a daily basis while you focus on what you actually DO want in your life.
…Are you self-sabotaging like I have for decades through my behavior patterns? If the answer is yes, than do something about it by getting to the bottom of it so you can finally move forward and break those old patterns. That can involve a second opinion on your diagnosis, a new medication, new therapist or studying new techniques (such as “Narrative Therapy” online if you can’t afford an actual therapist) to name a few possible options. You may want to look at your current career, sleeping patterns, the relationship you’re in or something as simple as the way you eat for answers on how to make your life better.
This sure isn’t rocket science, but it is a journey that takes hard work, patience, a long-term approach and the courage to face your fears. I know that myself, and I never tell people that this will be easy. If it was simple, no one would have issues in this ride called life. I don’t sugar-coat anything, since that’s a waste of everyone’s time, my own included. My Grandmother taught me to say it like it is, and here I am.
Adult ADHD anxiety is never a surprise with the way our minds often work. The key is to know how to counter-act these patterns before they hurt us in ways, like they have for me. I ended relationships on the drop of a dime, contemplated suicide (and attempted it before being diagnosed in 2011), went from job to job, spent money I didn’t have (credit cards) and burned bridges all over the place in my life. Wow, the price I paid before I finally realized that I was battling a monster called Adult ADHD/anxiety.
When you get crystal-clear on yourself, write out what you want from life and look at each area of your life, you’re destined to improve. It’s never simple, but wow, it’s worth it! These years are ‘gonna pass either way. How would you prefer to live?
DECIDE to take the road of courage and self-compassion/faith. You truly aren’t “damaged.” You’re different. Who the hell is “normal,” anyway?
That said, only YOU know what needs to change for you to live a better life. Start there. Less excuses or blame on others. Winners don’t think that way.